My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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