Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
