I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
