Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
