hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
PS: I just woke up from my shower
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
