Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
