You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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