fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize