I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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