I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
