we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
