This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
