it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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