I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize