does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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