you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
