Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
