i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Every concussion has its silver lining
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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