susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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