Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize
