I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
