That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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