is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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