I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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