She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.