I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
