# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Randomize
