you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
