There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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