new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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