Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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