remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
