...so i touched it.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
