You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
and she was petting her beer can
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
