i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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