i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
