Well apparently he's into motor boating.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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