Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
