I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize