I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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