I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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