We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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