The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
