They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
