who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
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