i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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