I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You can't die you're my only democrat family member