I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...