my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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