Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
