Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
third nipple confirmed
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
