I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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