I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
