i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
