One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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