I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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