I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
