i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He? As in you personified your dick?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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