: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
