Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize