The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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