my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Come on in and take your pants off
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