around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
