just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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