I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Reggie can tackle my bush.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
i believe in u and ur pee
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