No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
