At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
