I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
